Facebook Status Ideas

The new iPad should be called the new iFad.

Andrew — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 18:28:10 +0000

The new iPad should be called the new iFad.

Andrew — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 18:24:51 +0000

A balanced diet is a chocolate bar in each hand…or a coffee in each hand.

Andrew — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 18:08:34 +0000

If midnight snacks weren’t meant to be eaten why is there a light in the fridge?

Andrew — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 23:10:16 +0000

Fun new trend at the office. People are putting names on food in the company fridge. Today, I had a tuna sandwich named Bob.

Andrew — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 23:08:53 +0000

I don’t know what I’d do without Facebook, but I bet it would be something productive.

Andrew — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 23:08:16 +0000

I bet that if you understood Morse Code, tap dancers would drive you crazy.

Andrew — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 23:07:35 +0000

Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship’s kitchen.

Andrew — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 23:48:12 +0000

I always lock the front door when I take a shower, because if a murderer broke in and heard me singing I’d be so embarassed.

Andrew — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 18:03:56 +0000

Don’t be ridiculous, that’s my job.

Andrew — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 18:03:07 +0000

I know the voices in my head aren’t real, but they have some great ideas.